I’ve been on holiday again. I’ve been meditating again and am totally fresh back from spending a week in Cornwall with the family. I’m not going to go on about holidays again that was my last blog. However, one thing about being in a state of bliss with the gaffer and the kids near a beach is that you don’t see much of the news. Then you arrive home. North Korea, know what I mean?

North Korea has let off a hydrogen bomb underground. No one has actually witnessed this test, though surrounding countries felt it. No one is really sure if wasn’t a stack of dynamite large enough to cover the landmass of Shepton Mallet. But that very excitable lass on NK TV said it was a very successful nuclear test. So it must have been.

Before I went off on the jollies, Kim Jong Un was blathering on about dropping a nuclear bomb, ICBM or 3-2-1 banger (remember those?), off the coast of Guam. Which is akin to the Russians telling us that they are going to drop a nuke off the southern shores of the Isle of Wight. Why? Just, why? I mean Kimbo must have noticed that Donald Trump isn’t the most stable or experienced President America has had recently. And, please, look at a map, look at the size of North Korea, it equates to a small suburb outside of Odessa Texas. I have to admit, Kimbo’s sabre rattling is confusing me.

In times of confusion. I always turn to the world’s foremost philosophers on global issues: The Pet Shop Boys. I am not kidding. These pop prophets have been translating the world’s issues for thirty years now. I present to you – the Dictator Decides:

I believe that they are on to something. Kimbo was in his late 20’s early 30’s (depending upon which bio you believe), when he took over from his old man. At the time he was into drawing Michael Jordan and playing video games. Designing a civic infrastructure, feeding a population of twenty-five million and then balancing an economy, are about as interesting to him as lectures in diplomacy. This dude just wants to Netflix and chill. Is it possible that he wants a US led invasion? Is it possible that he has had enough and just wants to get back on with smoking 50 a day and playing GTA V?

Now, Kimbo could have a genuine case. He may be anxious that he is surrounded by unfriendlies and he needs a deterrent to keep his perceived enemies at bay. However, mineral deposits aside, I’m not sure what North Korea has that will encourage an invasion. But I don’t think he’s scared. This guy is begging for war. He is practically inviting US-led hostility. Screaming for it, like an infant for ice cream.

If a coalition did invade, he could run off. Find a safe harbour and let the rest of the world take over looking after his country and feeding the people. He could get back to his drawings and gaming. Smoke some fags and die from lung cancer like any normal person. Is that too far fetched?

Oh please will somebody put me
Out of my misery?
This sad old dictator must sooner or later
Flee so that you can be free

Songwriters: Christopher Sean Lowe / Neil Francis Tennant
The Dictator Decides lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

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